Tear Jerker

This has been a doozy of a month. One month ago today was the first day of school in a different job. At the end of last year, I found out that my position was changing. I was working at a middle school, teaching RSP to 6th-8th graders. For those that don't know, I worked with pretty typical kids who had learning disabilities but weren't severe. I loved my job and thought that was the one I'd retire in. While on maternity leave, I found out that I would have to travel between two middle schools. Having been a traveling teacher before, I knew that was not what I wanted to do. There was an opening at an elementary school teaching a primary Special Day Class. The needs and severity of the students were greater and instead of working with 6th-8th graders, I was working with K-4th graders. Oh yes, that is right. Just me, a classroom assistant and 13 students with a grade span of five years. What was I thinking? Well, I cried and cried and cried some more. I'm not talking about the cute little tears running down the cheeks. I'm talking about the locking myself in the bathroom, turn on the shower to drown out the noise, ugly cry...literally. I missed my old students, I missed my old friends, I missed my old schedule and, oh that's right...I still had all these baby hormones running through me. Luckily, I have one fantastic husband who made sure the kids were taken care of, dinner was made, and that I actually ate it.

I got out of that funk, realized that I was being a cry baby and got on with my bad self (with the help of said fantastic husband, uberly supportive parents, and the bff in the classroom next door who was also in the same boat. (She was new to the school too, but was a bff from before. Strength in numbers, right?)

Then the cry fest happened again. Two days ago, we found out that one of Jerry's uncles perished in a car accident. This was obviously unexpected and devastating. He was a loving husband, son, brother, father, grandfather, uncle and much more. He was charismatic, charming and passionate. He was one of those guys where if he liked you, he'd give you a big ol' bear hug and smackeroo on the cheek. He was one of those guys, where you walk away thinking, 'Dang, he is a really nice guy'. Now, I've dealt with the loss of loved ones before from both expected and unexpected occasions. Jerry helped me through a difficult time in my life two years ago when I lost three family members in a car accident. He was close to those family members also. My loss was his loss. Just as in this situation, his loss is my loss. That being said, when you lose someone you've known your whole life, who is always there even if they are not present, who you expect to always be there, the loss is crushing. You ache, it's an ache not only for yourself but for the others that you love, that are aching too. You think about the times you had and the times you would have had.... So needless to say, lots of tears have fallen in the world of Woestman. Rest in peace Uncle Doug. We'll think of you fondly and will be rooting for the Raiders in your honor.

P.S.--When I do cry, about anything, I look at these kiddos above and it melts my heart. I heart them.